you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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