im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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