You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
