Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
