Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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