How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
