this will be a night to untag.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
