i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
