what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
