; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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