So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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