I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
love makes seman taste better
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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