After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i believe in u and ur pee
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