I skipped work to stalk him.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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