I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
