i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
