Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
