If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
