Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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