Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
