You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
