I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
it's great music for shaving your balls
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
