that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
