Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
