I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
