I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
