We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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