Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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