when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
