Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
