FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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