hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
