mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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