I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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