Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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