she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
