I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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