I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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