I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
