Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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