a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize