i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
