woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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