So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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