Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
