we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
