Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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