thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
