does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
