She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
