omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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